I had a lot of resistance to self love and self care because I straight up didn't get it. This is why.
I had a lot of resistance to self love and selfcare and for good reason
For so long I was taught that it was selfish - coming out of a toxic childhood I was flat out conditioned to put my own needs aside, or throw myself under the bus. I was literally trained to do this. Growing up where my needs were ignored, dismissed and flat out ridiculed self care was a foreign language to me. So of course it didn't make sense and because it didn't make sense I didn't have access to self love because there was no foundation for it.
This was made louder by what I was taught a “good” wife, mother, spiritual person was. Good people forgive. Spiritual people don't get angry. Be the bigger person. You're here to serve. All the messaging I was taught was about others and without the ability to have a self love relationship as a base all that "goodness" was done in effort to finally be loved. Feel worthy of love.
It wasn't until my tower moment - where everything fell apart that I realized I never had a foundation in the first place. I couldn't properly have a relationship with others until I had one with myself.
It literally is an act of survival, our ability to choose the will to live, that I even began to realize how to take self care seriously. Self care is nurturing our will to live. Connecting us to what we value in ourselves and in life. It's the plug in to joy.
I remember that realization that I actually didn’t know how to listen to myself, and there were times where I wasn’t even sure what I even liked anymore!
My toxic past had begun the big robbery of my very identity! If that’s where you are right now - I get it! I also want to tell you that you can build back!
Self love - like anything that’s worth doing, takes practice and support!
Your ability to love yourself, to look out for your needs isn’t selfish - it’s survival. It gives you the ability to meet all the real challenges of life - and to enjoy the process! If self love is something that you struggle with, I want to help change that with you. If you’re ready, send me a DM or click the link in my bio
-AJ